They Call Me 'Slasher'

Every once in a while you are presented with something that renders you completely speechless. What I am about to describe is precisely one of those rarities.

There was an article in my local paper a few days ago which spoke of a man who is currently on trial. His charges? Burglary, larceny, assault in the first degree, and attempted murder in the first degree. Just another criminal being punished for crimes against society.

I speak to this man frequently. He is in punitive segregation right now for being involved in a fight while in jail. That means he stays in his cell for 23 of 24 hours of the day. Over the past two weeks or so, he has told me about his life, his family, his case. Nothing new exactly. Every inmate seems to want to tell their story. To someone. To anyone. I guess I just happen to listen more than others.

He was telling me that he is coming to grips with the fact that he is going to lose his wife and son. He has already told her to go on and live her life and to try and raise their son as best as possible. What do you say to someone in that situation? I know what he did and I know that he has to pay for what he is done, but I can't help but feel a bit of sympathy. Here is someone who literally had his nipples ripped off by his own grandfather when he was a kid. He was abused and neglected in his youth. He was high on cough syrup and alcohol when someone offered him money to break into a house and slash two people.

It is no excuse, I know that as well as anyone. Yet I still can't bring myself to do the things that other officers do. As long as they are polite to me and I am not busy, then I will talk to them. I offer what advice I can and try to be supportive. After all, my job isn't to punish these people.

When I came into work the other night, the man they call "the slasher" told me about his day at court. He pleaded guilty to the four counts that he was charged with. The man they call "the slasher" is facing 32 years in prison for the crimes he has committed. But wait; the man they call "the slasher" is not really a man at all. The man they call "the slasher" is just a kid. The boy they call "the slasher" is 23 years old.

He will likely never make it out of prison.

This boy they call "the slasher" slipped me out a picture through his bars last night and had only one thing to say to me. He simply said, 'read the back before you go to bed'.

I just read it and I will repeat it verbatim now.



"Yo, I've been meaning to do this for a few weeks Crandall. You know I get along with a few C.O.'s here but every once in a while I see a confused flash of mistrust and detest for me in their eyes. You're a rare guy and you have my respect. A world where you're the "good guy" and I am the "bad guy", and I don't think either of the logic is that shallow. That blade logo is an emblem of a pact me and some other "dangerous" acquaintances share in the world outside. I've only given this form of respect to one guy since, and that is because he married a girl I grew up with as a best friend AND he happened to be involved in the same..."line of work" as me. I never should have trusted my friend "CJ" on the outside with the knowledge of my crime. I wouldn't be in this mess. Anyway, there is somethin' about you, man. You are okay. You will be successful in life. I know it. You are a smart dude-n-shit."
- Zack "They call me Slasher"



Some people will laugh at that. Others will think it is wrong. What do I think? I don't know if I am really good at my job or really bad at it. But really, none of that matters. What matters is that I live my life the best way that I know how and to keep reminding myself that:

"I am not as bad of a guy as most people think. I also don't believe the others are as bad as I think."

And every once in a while, I am presented with something that renders me speechless. And THAT is a very good thing.